Startups Stack Exchange Archive

Techniques for networking & asking for advice

• posted by: Minna on 2014-10-25
• tagged: networking, consulting
• score: 2

What’s the best approach to take when asking someone for advice or input? Thus far, what I’ve done is given the impression that I’m not exactly an expert in the field (for example, social media or outsourcing coding for a startup) and that I’m regarding them as one, but this usually results in a bit of snobby or holier-than-thou attitude on their part. Am I just asking the wrong people (i.e. those who aren’t professional enough to act it) or taking the wrong approach?

Answer 1150

• posted by: John Looker on 2014-10-26
• score: 3

Stroking the ego works with people with an ego, but only as a way in. The problem with the technique is they may go off on their favourite subject, them, or they may not take you seriously.

• Talk to a lot of people on a surface level until you find the smart or experienced ones you’re looking for.
• Pose interesting or targeted questions that are likely to attract the right kind of people.
• Ignore the ego and talk to them as a professional. If you treat someone like a star they will treat you like a fan or wannabe.
• Listen. Pose questions to illicit feedback on the right subjects then shut up and listen. If it goes off track then diplomatically bring the subject back to where you want it to be.

Answer 1154

• posted by: Jeremy Parsons on 2014-10-26
• score: 3

There are lots of reasons asking for advice goes wrong. Here are some.

Are you asking someone who doesn’t have the expertise? Playing one-upmanship may be more appealing than admitting their ignorance.

Are you asking a question that doesn’t make sense? If your knowledge of a subject is sketchy, your question could sound naive or nonsensical, and that could produce the kind of reactions you describe.

Are you asking for too much? If the person you are talking to is an expert you could hire, you may come across as not respecting the boundary between the kind of snappy pointers most people will happily share, and the kind of skilled work that should be remunerated.

Are you asking the wrong person? There are plenty of people out there who lack the goodwill or the social skills to respond well. Move on!

Are you asking in the wrong context? I’ve known people who were brilliant and engaging speakers in front of a crowd, but just had no interest in 1-1 interaction. Instead of cornering them, you need to get your question in when they are playing to the crowd.

These are real possibilities, and there are lots more. Don’t be discouraged. In my experience most people will willingly offer advice, if you find the right occasion and the right way to ask. And while you should be wary of all “expert” advice - including this answer - learning from other people’s experience is incredibly valuable to startups.

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