fetishWhy is “dangerous” sex—be it because of being in public, cheating on a partner, not using birth control, because their parents would disapprove, or any other subversive act with potentially undesirable consequences—a turn-on for some people? If, evolutionarily speaking, sex is a means to procreation and therefore survival, why is a sense of danger, which we would otherwise instinctually avoid, something that people would be drawn to rather than repelled by in that kind of a situation?
There could be a mixture of factors.
One being that not everyone likes and furthermore many would be put off by danger in sexual situations, so this dosn’t apply to them.
Also, along the same lines, some engage in risky behavior for other reasons that are not related to the risk, for example having an affair because they want to try another sexual partner without informing their current one, the danger in this case may still be a turn off.
Another is the excitement of doing something forbidden, which may be related to sex such as kinky, dangerous sexual play or not related, but for some heighten sexual pleasure, such as cheating or being on top of a tall building.
Some like dangerous situations in general, dangerous sex being merely another dangerous situation.
Also is that one could associate sex with danger, expecting one to come with the other, finding it easier to feel both at once or even just having one remind them of the other. They may have no experience of sexual situations without danger. Especially given its forbidden, secret, seedy or animalistic qualities, a need to be misleading or behave differently, association with recreational drugs such as alcohol, the physical and emotional dangers and drains, social pressure, the futile sense of worthlessness and depression of unending failure, confusing mixtures of emotions, light headedness or inabilty or think properly, the unknown or unfamiliar, social consequences and pressures including others opinions and finally risks such as rejection, embarrassment, miscommunication, being made a fool or taken advantage of, depict, the other person abruptly becoming worried, legal consequences and pregnancy this could entail.
It’s kind of similar like that they say that “rules are made to be broken”.
Let’s say you are bankrupt, out of money, and really desire to eat or have something that you really like. For some people this gives a high desire to go steal, while they could actually spent time instead on trying to get yourself some work. But well, that would make them wait for their money.
Acts like these are also dangerous, you don’t want to get caught and have the undesirable consequence to land up in jail. If you are able to do the act without getting caught, you have some kind of enjoyment like “Yeah, I was able to get myself X for free and nobody saw it.” While this is not the best instinctual example, this shows why one would do it anyway despite the sense of danger to achieve what he wants right now.
In other words, no cookie did ever taste as good as the one you’d have covertly slipped from a cookie jar.
Consider “repetitive sex in the bedroom” versus “different sex in various places in various ways”…
I’ve often thought that the adrenaline rush contributes a lot to sexual enjoyment - so the feelings you get from the “fear factor” especially in play that involved sensory deprivation, anticipation of knowing “something” is going to happen later but not what that might be all add to the satisfaction…
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