Sexuality Stack Exchange Archive

Natural ways to extend duration of intercourse aka postpone my orgasm

• posted by: Shadow Wizard on 2015-07-28
• tagged: orgasm, male, intercourse
• score: 4

I want to extend the duration of intercourse with my sexual partner. While it’s going on all is good and feels great, but at some point I simply can’t hold it any longer and reach orgasm.

What natural ways exist to help me extend the duration? I do not want any chemicals.

Note: I am not talking about premature ejaculation, as the duration is normal and I just want to extend it even further.

Answer 87

• posted by: Eleomosynator on 2015-07-29
• score: 6

This website provides the following list:

• Masturbation (masturbate 2+ hours before having sex)
• Condoms (less sensation = more duration)
• Breathe (Take a moment to fully inhale and exhale and relax. Avoid heavy panting.)
• Stop and Start Method (Don’t go full speed the whole time.)
• Squeeze Methods (Apparently, squeezing your head will keep yourself from getting too stimulated. ??? Mantak Chia’s books on Taoist Sexuality have some exercises fitting this description.)
• Sexual positions (If there’s a position you find powerfully erotic, maybe save that one for last.)
• Pelvic exercises (Kegels for men)
• Desensitizing cream (Like it says)

Note: posting this link should not in any way be interpreted as recommending any products or services being offered on that website.

This list is from personal experience. I’m asssuming that you are a man having sex with a woman. Accept my apologies if some of this does not apply to you. If appropriate, I will revise my answer accordingly.

• A history of masturbation has helped but not in the way the article describes. It’s helped me become familiar with the many subtle stages of my own arousal. I’ll gradually build up and get close to climaxing, then back off and relax and let myself become less aroused, then repeat. (I found out later that this is apparently called “edging”, and you can find resources online.)
• Stop and Start is pretty important. You can build your partner’s arousal while slowing yours down.
• Very regularly, I will stop thrusting and just kiss or even just hug my partner for a while.
• You can also pull out and slide your partner’s clitoris up and down the shaft of your penis or rub your penis over her clitoris in a windshield wiper motion.
• Many women love receiving oral sex. It’s not unusual for a woman to enjoy oral sex more than vaginal sex. It’s easy to go down on a woman and give yourself time to cool off.
• Breathing and relaxation, along with start-and-stop, are important tools for managing my level of arousal. I’ve studied Yoga, meditation and relaxation techniques, and I’ve trained myself to relax quickly.

The format of this list makes it difficult for me to spell out every detail. If you’re unsure about what would work best for your partner, ask her. If neither of you are sure, then experiment and find out together.

Good luck!

Answer 63

• posted by: Shevliaskovic on 2015-07-28

• score: 2

• The best thing you can do is (cheesy pun): sexercise; the more often you have sex, the more you’ll endure. If don’t have sex often it’s natural not to last long.
• Have a steady partner. Usually, when we meet a new partner, we get overexcited, which might cause to reach orgasm earlier. But, with having a steady partner, you get past that point and can hold longer.
• Get to know yourself. By masturbating, you can see what excites you and what not, so you can use that knowledge later, during coitus.

Answer 232

• posted by: Bat Frett on 2015-08-03
• score: 1

The only thing I can add to what has already been said is that a cock ring might help. I have never used one, but I believe it works by restricting the flow of blood out of the genital area, and the purpose of it is exactly what you’re looking for.

I know you said that you don’t want to use chemicals, but if you are open to using topical chemicals (as opposed to taking pills or whatever internally), there are mild, over the counter analgesics sold in the family planning aisle of your local drug store, near the condoms and lubricants. Again, I’ve never used these, so I can’t vouch for their effectiveness.

I would recommend, as a previous answer has done, that you use a condom, preferably a thick one, if you are interested in lasting as long as possible. The less you feel, the longer you will last.

Other common recommendations include taking it slowly for as long as you can, and, when you feel like you’re getting too close to the finish line, thinking about unsexy things - I’ve heard everything from baseball stats to remembering scenes from horror movies, and from bible stories to imagining your grandmother sitting on the toilet saying your name. I’ve never tried any of these suggestions, and the last one is so creepy that I don’t even like to think of it, although I would imagine that it would be quite effective.

The best stamina extender I’ve ever used was Zoloft - it was prescribed for depression, not for sexual benefits, but it makes it almost impossible to finish the job, so to speak, in less than an hour or so.

Answer 129

• posted by: mansa on 2015-07-29
• score: 0

Completing others’ posts: also try to have very long foreplays, preferably without strong stimulation of your penis. E.g., half an hour.

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