female, sex, sex-drive, lesbianSome of my lesbian friends refer to “Lesbian Bed Death” as if it were every couple’s inevitable destiny, while others call it a myth. I’m curious to know if there are any studies on the relative frequency of sex in long-established F/F and M/F relationships. If there is truth to the stereotype, what is the reason behind it?
Here, is a study which explains the phenomenon quite well.
A majority of comparative studies in the past 30 years have replicated these results, although a few have found no differences between lesbian and heterosexual couples.
Sure enough, as measured by frequency lesbians fell behind the others. Only about 15% of the lesbians had sex more than twice a week, compared to 50% or more of the others, and about 40% said there were weeks when they had no sex at all, compared to less than 20% of the rest of the sample. But if you looked at how long each sexual encounter lasted, women in same-sex relationships were champs.
So it seems like there is some evidence behind this. BUT, here is what follows the first statements of the study:
Gay men and especially male and female heterosexuals reported typical sexual encounters of a half hour or less, often much less. Lesbians, on the other hand, described sexual sessions lasting upward of 30 minutes, and nearly 10% reported encounters of two hours or more. This is our first hint that the measure of “sexual frequency” is inadequate. Perhaps lesbians have lower frequency because if each sexual encounter involves extended periods of sensual and sexual activity, it is harder to find time for sex. And if sex is that intense, maybe you don’t need or desire it as frequently.
This is, indeed, an important detail to underline: duration, quality and intensity over frequency.
In the end, sexuality is subjective and different for everyone. Accordingly and from my point a view, the "lesbian bed death" as we know it, is a myth.
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