fetish, kink, terminologyI’ve seen the dictionary definitions, but the words ‘kink’ and ‘fetish’ are commonly used interchangeably in pop-culture. What is the actual difference between them?
It is hard to say. Although each term describes some things that are unique to it, there is also a lot of overlap between the two.
###How Do We Define the Words “Kink” and “Fetish”?
It depends on who you ask.
Kink: practices which go beyond conventional sex with the specific intent of heightening sexual arousal or intimacy.
Fetishism: when a person uses a physical object and/or specific situation to create or enhance their own sexual arousal.
Fetishes: Sexual fetishes are sexual responses to objects, or objectified body parts, that are not usually considered sexual in nature (an extreme attraction to a really hot girl, sadly, does not count).
Although there are different levels of fetishism, it is usually accepted that the object of attraction must be present, at least in the imagination, for gratification. For example, a foot fetishist may not always need feet to be present or directly involved while having sex, but will not be able to get off without fantasizing about feet. In the same vein, “furries,” or people who dress in animal costumes, may only have to imagine being in costume to get the kind of experience they’re looking for.
Kinks: Kinks on the other hand, are enjoyable activities that do not have to be practiced for sexual gratification (however, if you always indulge your partner’s kink, they will probably be eternally grateful). They can involve objects or objectification, but certainly don’t have to, and don’t have to be the main focus of a sexual encounter. For example, all of you who are getting down in the showers can now identify as kinky, and judging from what Conn students write in certain anonymous forums, there are some kinky people on campus.
Kink: People who are in the kink community like to discriminate fetish from kink by saying that kink is more focused on the person but the activity is part of the fun,”
Fetish: On the other hand, people who have a fetish are intensely focused on a specific object or ritual as part of their sexuality. They need whatever that is to experience any kind of sexual arousal or turn-on, making their sexuality more dependent on their fetish than on their partner.
##Lessons Learned:
It appears that these descriptions have at least a couple of things in common, in terms of their description of what separates kinks from fetishes:
Fetishes are more focused on objects, as opposed to people. Kinks can involve objects, but the person is more important.
Fetishes are more consuming: If you can’t get off without X, it is likely that X is a fetish, not a kink. However, this doesn’t mean that people who have fetishes are incapable of getting off in any other way, only that this is more likely to be the case for fetishists than kinky people.
What do kinks and fetishes have in common? Both are usually related to sexual behaviors which many people would consider unusual or abnormal.
For example: I am a hetero male. I love boobs. I love big boobs. I love small boobs. I love in between boobs. None of these things are fetishes, and none of these things are kinks. They are too common to be fetishes or kinks.
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