orgasm, maleIt’s a common trope in pop culture (in America, at least) that men generally fall asleep much more quickly after sex than women do - in some extreme cases almost immediately.
I’ve found this to be true anecdotally, with my husband and a few others before him, but the sample size is small enough to allow that to be a coincidence. Is there something that happens biologically (or hormonally, or heck, emotionally) to men after orgasm that makes them fall asleep? If so, does this not happen to women after orgasm?
No, all men don't fall asleep after orgasm, although the brain chemistry of orgasm doesn't seem to be exactly the same in men and women:
Men experience a rush of dopamine during orgasm that puts them in a state of ecstasy. However – in most men – the blissful feeling disappears after 5-10 seconds. Interestingly, the surge of dopamine triggers an almost simultaneous burst of prolactin that causes dopamine levels to plummet. The result is a dopamine level that is much lower than it was before sexual arousal began. In addition, an above normal level of prolactin continues for up to two weeks.
Woman receive a peak in dopamine during orgasm, but it doesn’t crash drastically; rather, it subsides in a sequence of steps. Prolactin increases to a level slightly above normal – staying there briefly while dopamine levels return to their normal level. Women’s dopamine levels vary throughout the month based on their menstrual cycle. source
It seems there is a biological explanation for the sudden drop in energy in men after orgasm. That being said all is not black and white, not every orgasm is as intense and some women show similar behavior. The most intensely satisfying orgasms I experienced were with a female partner when we came together after long making out. We both fell into some sort of druglike sleep for about half an hour regularly after sex (very similar feeling to smoking opium, complete knock out, but very pleasurable). This partner also never wanted to continue after she had an orgasm, unlike the common belief that women don't "turn off" like men do, where as I as a man quite like to continue.
Sexuality is a complex affair with many hormones, neuro-transmitters and personal preferences and history, culture, ... playing a role in how we experience things, and there is a whole spectrum between the male and female stereotypes with people being anywhere on that spectrum or somewhere else alltogether.
It is not always the case that men get sleepy after sex, though there certainly are quite a number that do. Some men (including myself) do not experience this at all.
At an attempt to look at the biological side, this article offers a decent explanation.
Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and the hormone prolactin. The release of prolactin is linked to the feeling of sexual satisfaction, and it also mediates the “recovery time” that men are well aware of—the time a guy must wait before “giving it another go.” Studies have also shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
From experience, the answer is easily no, all men do not always fall asleep after having an orgasm. If it is the morning, I (as a male) have no problem getting up and going about my day.
That said, sex can be a physically strenuous activity. Combine that with it usually being a night-time activity, and the flood of relaxing/pleasure hormones released during orgasm, and it is no surprise that men usually have no issues falling asleep afterwards.
I can only speak for myself here. Your mileage may vary.
In my experience, the feeling I get after having sex isn’t exactly what you would call “sleepiness”, but it isn’t far off from sleepiness. I would describe it as being extremely relaxed, content, and at peace with the world. I should mention that I have insomnia, so the only thing that really makes me sleepy is sleeping pills.
After sex, I don’t drop off to sleep, but I definitely don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I would imagine that most people, of whatever gender and orientation, feel more or less the same way after intercourse. After all, if sex didn’t feel so good, and if it wasn’t so fulfilling, we probably wouldn’t have so much of it. :)
I guess I would say that I become very sedate and relaxed following an orgasm, but no, I don’t immediately fall asleep or become comatose. I think it’s more like I am so happy and satisfied that I don’t feel the need to get up or do anything except cuddle.
As I understand it, this is an effect of the hormone called oxytocin. It strengthens emotional bonds, encourages a sense of intimacy, and helps to instill a feeling of being connected with your partner, your family, and your friends.
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