death-afterlife, mortality, purpose-of-lifeThere are a lot of people who I suspect are not atheists simply because they don’t like the idea of dying and then never existing again. I remember that when I was investigating religion and atheism, I at first didn’t want to be an atheist for the same reason. Even after I reluctantly accepted that yes, its a lot more likely that a god doesn’t exist, there was a small period where I was in a sort of depression. I got over it fairly quickly though, and now I’m happy that there isn’t any god and only us are in control of our destinies.
How do other atheists deal with mortality and death, and how can theists - who take comfort in the idea of an afterlife, be helped to accept the reality even though it might be what they don’t want to hear at first?
For me it is simple: you only go around once, so enjoy the ride while you can. This does not entail worrying about dying. Since it is inevitable, why worry about it? In any case, when you are dead you’ll be considerably past caring. Get on with living.
To be honest, I still haven’t accepted the idea that I will cease to exist some time in the future at some level.
I’ve never believed in a god but when I was little I had the implicit conviction that when I die my consciousness “moves” to another vessel. To this day I still can’t conceptualize the fact that consciousness is merely an emergent property of very complex neural connections and that it ceases to be when those connections decay, even though I know that this is (very probably) true.
I think the human mind simply isn’t adapted to cope with this thinking. I know mine isn’t. The idea that consciousness is somehow detached, something different, is simply too powerful. And this idea seems to be ubiquitous.
So, to answer your question: I don’t deal with it. I don’t have to, for the most part. The only way I deal with (my own future) death is by making the most of life. Carpe vitam, so to say.
Life is the best one-way ticket that you could get. Mortality and death are there to help us remember this. They are the destination.
Put in another way, I really don’t care. I just try to enjoy the trip.
The first question that comes to mind is the following:
Do theists actually get comfort from the thought of the afterlife?
It seems to me that whatever comfort they get is really marginal. It’s not like theists do not cry at funerals or are not afraid of death. I believe it is basic human nature to act and feel as if there was no afterlife - because in human experience there is no afterlife. Even if it actually existed - nobody has the possibility of experiencing it and making it something more than mere hope.
So, I believe deal with the hard facts of life and death, at a personal level, in a very similar manner. Possibly they simply think about something else than death - like living life!
A second point that is interesting is this:
Death is a double concept
Death means both the moment of passing and the eternity that follows.
Everybody fears the first (or at least the slow and painful version of it).
Regarding the second sense, for an atheist there is no “after death”. Life ends there, so there is, at least for some, basically no feeling for what happens after the passing to themselves. The same thoughts for friends and family apply as to a theist, obviously.
It is interesting that the thought of having an afterlife is actually only comforting a small minority of theists, e.g. the ones that have no fear of being punished in the afterlife. In my experience, these are by far the largest proportion.
I believe that this also serves as an answer on how to point a theist in the right direction.
It don’t remember it bothering me that I was not existing for billions of years prior to my life. The universe seems to have done fine without me up until now. I’m sure it will do fine without me after I’m gone, and that I won’t have any feelings on the matter.
Living with the knowledge of certain and imminent (in geological timescales) death is probably the toughest aspect of human self-consciousness, a position Erich Fromm calls (unique) “human situation”. Falsely promising afterlife in heaven is therefore one of the main selling points and dirtiest scams of any religion.
If one is optimistic and cheerful by nature, he or she can accept this situation as an opportunity to be free of silly, unreasonable limitations so many people are bound to by the society, either by social norms or in many cases by threats of violence and actual violence. In short, accept it as an opportunity to “live life to the fullest”.
If one is on the other hand pessimistic and gloomy by nature, this “freedom” will provide little comfort and the simple fact of mortality will have to be accepted as just that, a fact.
If one is a coward, he or she might decide to leave atheism behind and “find god” which might provide a certain degree of comfort.
Ultimately, if one is an intelligent and reasonable human being, familiar with modern science and not heavily brainwashed from early childhood, one will just have to accept that he or she is going to die and that this will happen very soon in cosmic terms. In other words, there is not much you can do but suck it up and try to enjoy life as much as possible.
When a person is born, and this goes for the human race as a whole as well as for the individual, he finds himself thrown out of a situation that was well-defined and specific, just as specific as the instincts, into a new situation, unspecific, unsure and open. Security exists here only compared to the past, and for the future only with respect to a certain death, which in fact is a return to the past, to the inorganic stage of lifeless matter. And thus the problem of human existence is wholly unique in nature as we know it. Man has fallen from nature, and at the same time remained inside it, part divine and part animal, part infinite and part finite. There is the necessity of ever finding new solutions to contradictions in his existence and to found ever higher forms of unity with nature, the source of which lies in all the psychic powers determining human behavior, the source of all his passions, experiences and fears. ~ Erich Fromm
I really recommend the funny-yet-interesting book Heidegger and a Hippo in that context.
For me personally, realizing and accepting our mortality and insignificance really put into perspective how lucky we truly are to be alive, and how nearly all the progress made in the world has been achieved through Science. For me, it has made me realize the importance of Science, and I've dedicated my own life to learning Science and telling others about its importance. There are so many things that the survival of human species depends on, which can only be achieved through Science.
Ironically, Science may be able to one day achieve reversal of age or life extension to significantly enhance our lifespan. Ultimately that is the most realistic way of having any form of 'afterlife' if that is what you crave, rather than relying on the myths of a centuries old religion.
Not all atheists accept death as inevitable. Some, including myself, plan to use Cryonics in hopes that in future they may be revived.
I think the one thing that can make morality and eventual death become insignificant for atheists, is finding a purpose for your life that inspires you.
Believing in reincarnation, heaven or higher level of existence is a comforting thought for theists. Comforting implies that theists have a natural fear of death, just like atheists - we are basically no different when it comes to the thoughts of death.
Hoping that something exists after death, doesn’t make you a theist - it’s what makes you human.
I find comfort in the fact that when I have died, my memory can no longer exist - I’m not able to regret things I’ve done/missed out on which makes death less scary (for me). I’m not able to miss my life as my consciousness have ceased to exist (in any form).
For some, it’s even more scary that I can find comfort in such logical reasoning, then death itself.
Death can be a release from misery.
When my grandmother was in her early 90s, she got a skin infection that wouldn’t go away and sent her on a multi-year downhill slide. Despite suffering more and more as time went on, family members pressured her to hang on. She didn’t even have the dubious solace of losing any of her mental faculties.
When the last family member finally came to grips with her dying, she quit struggling and was gone within three days. Without her battling, she probably would have died about two years earlier, and I think she would have preferred that personally, but she loved her family members so much she chose to suffer physically rather than have them suffer emotionally.
That really changed my view of death. I used to fear loss of self, but now I see that simply not existing would be much preferable to living in misery.
Acceptance of my own death clarified my priorities amazingly well.
Many people I know who believe in an afterlife, or otherwise don’t come to grips with mortality, procrastinate on important things and waste a lot of time screwing around with stupid things. I guess they figure they’ll always have another chance to do the important stuff.
Since I started paying attention to the signposts showing I’m steadily approaching the grave, I’ve stopped doing that so much. In particular, I’m more affectionate toward the people I love, because one of these days, they or I will be gone, and I won’t have the opportunity then.
I also think a lot about things in terms of “When I’m on my deathbed, will I be glad I spent my time on this as opposed to other things?” It makes working overtime or doing long commutes a lot less appealing. :-)
I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’d kind of rather not die right now but I’ve seen a lot of older people who looked forward to it and where just tired of being alive. I can imagine feeling that way when the pain and boredom gets too great.
I do sometimes wish that the afterlife’s I used to imagine could be real…some of them. It’s hard to let go. I always see myself as sort of the center of my little world and I’m very particular about how it turns out. But it’s not like I have real control anyway so letting go is something we all need to do anyway. I do wish, sometimes, that I could see how it all turns out…and I won’t…but you know…I don’t have a billion dollars either and I am similarly disappointed there.
How can we help theists accept reality when they find comfort in their afterlife thing? You can’t. They either will or won’t and everyone’s got to come terms with reality in their own way.
There’s no god. If there is a god, it’s certainly a Spinoza deity - not an evangelical deity. So, the answer is that we atheists deal with death the exact same way as a theist, by dying. The difference is that we go to our deaths not deluded and concerned for some mythical pop-quiz that will determine an eternity of torment. Instead, we go to our deaths knowing that it is nothing more than it is, an ending.
I personally take a great deal of comfort from that. Why? Because I know that the quality of my life now matters now. I also know that there’s no external standard to which I have to conform to win the eternity lotto. Instead, I am free to live my life to the best of my ability and in conformance with what satisfies and enriches me.
I love my family and friends, and I do work in the community not because I have to in order to avoid torture for eternity, but because it satisfies me and fulfills me. That’s reward enough. I don’t have to fear that me having a drink or wearing two kinds of cloth or engaging in this type of sex or that type of sex will damn me. Instead, I am a free, happy, and empowered rational human being.
I will die when I die, and we get little say over that. Maybe medicine will add thirty years to my life, and maybe I’ll be run over by a bus today. I don’t get to say. What I do get a say over is the satisfaction, quality, and experience of the life I live now.
I think that many people are terrified of death because they have done so little, or because they’ve not experienced deep satisfaction or powerful love.
I’ve climbed to ‘sacred’ temples in Bali. I’ve petted a 15’ shark at 140’ under water in Tahiti. I’ve fathered children and done the best I know how by them. I’ve loved so deeply that I’ve experienced bliss. I’ve been down so low and so deeply sad that everything was black. I’ve made a difference in the lives of hundreds of people. Am I ready for death? Hell no, I’ll go out kicking and fighting all the way But am I terrified? Nope. Life is what it is… I just enjoy the ride.
I, like Lausten, don’t remember being bothered by the fact that my consciousness didn’t exist before I was created – or before our universe was created, for that matter. That’s just the thing about not existing: you don’t have a mind that can experience the state of nonexistence; you can’t experience the passage of time, either.
The other thing is that being an atheist doesn’t necessarily mean not believing in an afterlife (hear me out now). Maybe not an afterlife in the heaven or hell sense. But, if you think about it, I don’t see much sense in believing that this universe and my existence in it must necessarily be a singular event that happens one time and only one time. In fact, I personally would find it rather odd if it was only a singular event.
If this universe came into existence once, then it seems reasonable to assume there is no reason it can’t happen again. And if I can come into existence once, it seems reasonable to assume there is no reason it can’t happen again. Perhaps billions of billions of billions of billions of universes will come and go after our universe ends. And maybe, in one of those my consciousness will again spring forth into existence, just like it did in this one. If this were to happen, it would in all probability be a very long time from now. But, I won’t exist and won’t experience the passage of that unfathomably long time. In that sense it will be as though, from my perspective, my consciousness will spring right back into existence the very moment that it ceases to exist. Wouldn’t that be something? Of course, my consciousness might spring forth within an animal that is very much like an ant, or something, but – hey – I’ll be an ant and won’t really give a damn.
There is no need for a deity or an afterlife (in the traditional sense) in order to believe that there is a possibility that we might all experience life after death. Granted, this is all pure speculation, but I find it fun to think of as a possibility nonetheless.
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